


i want red, i'll have red (if I can say what’s left unsaid)

by PaintedYertle



Category: The Love Interest - Cale Dietrich
Genre: But mostly fluff, Caden is a good boyfriend, Dylan is a good boyfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Spoilers, Post-Ending, Pre-Epilogue, They're just good boyfriends okay, mild anxiety attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedYertle/pseuds/PaintedYertle
Summary: Caden brought flowers on his first date with Dylan. He bought a plush toy on their second. On their third date, when he bought a blanket with a specific texture so Dylan would know where he was after a nightmare, Dylan yelled “No more gifts!”. Their fourth date is on Caden’s birthday. Caden is growing into his own man, the protagonist of his own story, while Dylan is just beginning to figure himself out.





	i want red, i'll have red (if I can say what’s left unsaid)

**Author's Note:**

> There's less than five fanfics for The Love Interest and that's homophobic.
> 
> (the song the title is from is Red by Carrie Manolakos, since red is a color Caden is heavily associated with in the book.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km7MfN7XB9Q )

            Dylan knows Caden wouldn’t have been picked to go into the outside world if he weren’t a skilled Love Interest, but now that his personality is unrestricted he’s somehow gotten even more charismatic. The way he awkwardly looks at the ground when he knows he’s being looked at, the way he’ll stumble over his words just to find the right ones to say, the way he’ll purse his lips when he wants to tell someone off but keeps it inside because he knows how to pick his battles.

            Caden brought flowers on his first date with Dylan. He bought a plush toy on their second. On their third date, when he bought a blanket with a specific texture so Dylan would know where he was after a nightmare, Dylan yelled “No more gifts!”. Their fourth date is on Caden’s birthday. Caden is growing into his own man, the protagonist of his own story, while Dylan is just beginning to figure himself out.

            Dylan isn’t certain how he identifies his own sexuality. He still isn’t sure if he’s “officially” dating Caden yet. When he asked Caden out, he stated he’ll use the label “questioning” for now. He’s aware the “Q” stands for “Queer” but he prefers the ambiguity until he’s ready to be fully out. He doesn’t know if that will be sooner or later, because there’s nothing ambiguous about how his body melts wherever Caden’s warm kiss touches. Dylan can feel his heart being stolen and it’s infuriating that he’s just watching while it happens. It’s worse that can’t tell if Caden is aware he’s doing it or not.

            “Caaaaaadeeeeeen,” Dylan whined. He poked at Caden’s arms on the other side of the desk. “Cay-hay-hay-hay-deeen.”

            “Dyl, I’m working.” THAT. Caden started using that nickname practically the moment Dylan was given a name. He had him in his palm even before he left the LIC.

            “I still can’t deal with comics,” Dylan said, “I tried, Caden, I tried. I thought maybe after I had more options I could give it a chance again, but none of them end! I’ll be stuck in a never-ending loop of Gotham never being stable and Reed Richards opening up yet another alternate dimension.”

            “Damn.” Caden said, looking away to type on the computer, “That has to be the firstiest of first world problems.” Dylan pouted. “Now can you go back to the teen section and wait for me until I get off in a half hour?”

            “But I’m bored and this isn’t faaaaaaaair.” Dylan plopped his head overdramatically onto the desk. He was playing up his reaction, but this is close to another secret he he’s been keeping: that he’s a huge crybaby.

            Dylan has cried in front of Caden many times, but so far wrote off those breakdowns as an “act”. Caden is a better liar than him, but Dylan has been dabbling with half-truths. He could play his emotions up well, but the waterworks were real when his coach Judy screamed in his ear. Unlike his romantic feelings, this isn’t a side of him he’s slowly gaining comfort in showing to anyone, especially Caden.

            “Holy shit,” Caden whispered, because it’s still a library, “There’s a _Dune_ comic?!”

            Dylan craned his neck over the desk to look at the screen. “It’s like eighty bucks.”

            “There’s a _Neuromancer_ comic?!”

            “That one’s also eighty bucks.” Caden groaned. Dylan grinned. “First world problems, eh?” Caden slapped Dylan on the arm.

            “Watch it, or I won’t dismiss your late fees anymore.”

            Dylan mock-gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

            “Then don’t push me. I _will_ go mad with library authority.” Caden gave a grin that was meant to be mischievous, but Dylan only saw it as cute. It made him want to kiss him, but they were in public and at Caden’s place of work. It was difficult enough to accept his feelings in private.

            “Excuse me,” said a person coming up to the desk, “Do you have a Big Bang Theory DVD set?”

            Caden closed the tab he was in and typed in the search. “No, sorry, we don’t hold that particular item.”

            “Why not?”

            “Because it sucks,” said Dylan.

            “Ignore him,” said Caden, nudging Dylan away from the desk, “He doesn’t even work here, and he’ll be going back to where he was and be quiet.”

            Dylan huffed. He returned to the teen section where the comics were. In his effort to not look like a lost child he moved to the non-superhero comics section. He picked up _Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong_ by Prudence Shen and Faith Erin Hicks. He was drawn to it by the title and he liked the driving in the first few pages. He mentally categorized where it was so he could have something to sift through while waiting for Caden again.

           

* * *

 

           On the night of their date, Caden picked Dylan up from his internship. He was chatting with another intern about Marvel movies at the front door when Caden’s car pulled up. When he got in, it felt different sitting in the passenger side this time.

            “Making new friends?” Caden asked. Carly Rae Jebson was playing on the radio.

            “I guess.” Dylan said. He was never supposed to make any friends, due the “damaged” and “loner” nature he’s meant to have. He’s had friends before, but he’s never been in an environment healthy enough to socialize. Dylan has been slowly been migrating into Caden’s friendgroup as of late. Natalie has become the easiest to talk to. With her traumas, she needs someone to talk to as well.

            They drove off, and Dylan stared at the passing lights out the window. There are things you miss when all you watch is the road.

            “I was thinking we could just see a movie tonight,” Caden said, “Y’know, keep it simple.”

            “You can do whatever you want. It’s your birthday. What’s it like being a legal adult?”

            Caden released a shaky sigh. “Well, I’m not planning on owning a house or committing crimes anytime soon.”

            “You can sneak me into a rated R movie though. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

            Caden pouted. “Rated R movies have blood. I don’t like gore.”

            “I’ll cover your eyes during the sex scenes.”

            “Ugh, what’s worse, movie gore or hetero movie sex? I’ll stick to Disney movies, thank you.”

            “Well, _Star Wars_ is a Disney movie now. And so are Marvel movies.”

            They made a quick stop to their place so Dylan could change into something casual. Caden stayed in the car, and by the time Dylan returned he was playing with the radio.

            “Wow, you really are still nice sometimes,” Dylan said, “You haven’t even peaked at your birthday gift.”

            Dylan pulled a wrapped square out of the backpack he had thrown at the foot of his seat. Caden didn’t seem to suspect it was there.

            “Oh Dyl,” Caden said, and the hairs on the back of Dylan’s were standing up, “That’s so thoughtful-”

            “It’s your birthday. You get gifts. There’s nothing unusual about that.”

            Caden’s features softened for a moment in order to absorb those words. He took the gift and examined it in his hands for a moment. He had to know it was a book by the shape. Caden pressed a finger on the side where the pages were and tore the paper into one line. Then he ripped off the rest to reveal the cover.

            “You got me a Star Wars comic?!”

            “It’s nothing special. It’s not Mara Jade or Luke as a Force ghost or anything. It’s just Force Awakens.”

            “Gaaaaaaaah I love it. It’s perfect. You’re the best,” Caden looked up, smiling like a dope, “Can I hug you?”

            Dylan perked up. Caden always asked for permission before making any type of move on him.

            “Nothing’s stopping you-” Caden’s arms were pulling Dylan forward and squeezing his body before he could finish. Dylan didn’t have a chance to prepare so one of his arms were now trapped between his and Caden’s chests. He could feel the outline of Caden’s not as rock-solid but still defined muscles. Dylan looped his free arm awkwardly around Caden’s waist. The hug was lingering, and Dylan allowed his head to lull over Caden’s shoulder. He knows Caden deserves happiness. He fought back a prickle of tears in his eyes.

            Of course, that’s when Caden pulled back. He was looking over his comic again, so Dylan took the opportunity to wipe his eyes. He’s wearing his leather jacket, so the tears were left as domes on his own shoulder. Dylan hoped Caden won’t notice.

            Dylan just grinned his way through it until they went to the movies. They chose a horror movie. Dylan didn’t want to take a chance of seeing something sad and getting teary-eyed (he got that way every time he saw _Beauty and the Beast_ ). Both Dylan and Caden had been trained for wooing during movie dates. The armrest yawn, the huddling in shoulders during scary parts, the handholding and games of footsie. But the movie was bad and not very frightening. Caden and Dylan just whispered jokes to each other during the runtime. Occasionally the movie would make a loud noise and one of them would jump, then swear under their breath because that wasn’t scary, it was cheating.

            Though that didn’t stop them from holding hands in the darkness under the armrest.

 

* * *

           

            Caden knocked on the door to Dylan’s room after midnight one night. Dylan answered it right away, because even now Caden was considerate about bothering him when he was probably sleeping.

            “Hey, I know you’re not a doctor,” Caden said, “but if my heart is going a million miles an hour, should I be worried?”

            Caden was leaning against the frame to the door looking pale and quivering slightly.

“You’re having heart palpitations?” Dylan asked.

            “If that means beating really fast over literally nothing then yes.”

            Dylan stepped forward and felt Caden’s forehead. No fever. Then he felt Caden’s pulse, and it was sped up.

            “How are you feeling? Dizzy?”

            “Sort of? But I feel fine standing up. Maybe I should sit down? I’m so sorry, it’s like three in the morning.”

            “Stop being such a Nice, Caden. You sound like you need help and I’m up now.” Dylan took a step away from Caden’s space, then rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “Do you want me to sit with you?”

            Caden paused. “Well, when you put it that way, _you_ sound like the nice in that scenario.” He said, “Yeah. Okay.”

            The two were living together “for convenience sake”, as they put it. But they had separate rooms. They went into their living room and sat on the couch together. Dylan guided him through breathing, and Caden’s heart managed to calm down within minutes.

            “You’re right, I’m not a doctor,” Dylan said, “But it sounds to me like you had some type of anxiety attack.”

            Caden thought on that. “But I wasn’t feeling particularly anxious. I was sleeping.”

            “That can happen. It can especially happen if you went through a trauma. Which…well…yeah, it might have all built up inside you and then collapsed all at once.”

            “Oh, wonderful.”

            “I’d still go to see a doctor just to make sure.”

            “Has anything like this ever happened to you?”

            “Not an attack, no, but anxiety, yeah. I still think people are watching me whenever I walk outside.”

            Caden moved closer to Dylan, “Do you mind staying with me?” He asked, “Just to be safe?”

            “I have a shift in the morning.”

            “You can rest at my side? And I’ll wake you up on time if you oversleep.”

            Dylan stopped and thought on that for a moment. “Okay. I’ll do it to make sure your heart doesn’t explode.”

            Caden mock-swooned, “Oh, my hero!”

            Dylan could see the faint blush on Caden’s face. It was late at night/early in the morning. Caden got the blanket he gifted to Dylan and wrapped it around both of them while they stayed on the couch. He rested his head on Dylan’s shoulder. Dylan saw the Force Awakens volume on the table and began to flip through it.

            According to the bookmark Caden left in it (reading “Always be yourself…unless you can be a UNICORN. Then always be a unicorn.”) he’s halfway through the book. HOW CAN HE READ SO FAST?! Whatever. Dylan read it to distract himself from Caden’s breathing tickling his neck. He kept the book on his neck as he brushed his finger through Caden’s hair. It lulled Caden to sleep by the time he got to Kylo Ren.

            Dylan has thoughts on Kylo. In Love Interest logic, he would be a bad while Finn would be a Nice. Force Awakens wasn’t a love story so the same rules didn’t apply, it was hard for Dylan to turn his thoughts away from it. He knew Caden was thinking about Finn as well, but now that Caden was openly gay, he knew he was also thinking of Finn in Poe’s jacket. Juliet, Natalie, and Caden text each other fanfictions all the time, but that was beside the point.

            The point of most Bads was to convince a girl to “fix” them. To shape them into better people. In a way, Dylan was drawn to the concept of using positive emotions to become a better person, and that thought drove him sane in his younger years at the LIC. But years later he realized it would come at the cost of a girl’s emotional energy. That type of empathy was never encouraged towards women, not even female Love Interests. “Fixing” a “Bad” male love interest meant kindness, and dong so to a female one meant obedience.

            So it hurt a bit to watch Kylo make mistake after mistake. Of course, they had yet to know where that would lead them to. But knowing the friendship that Rey has with others, as well as the one ones Dylan has now, he didn’t want to know how someone could choose cruelty over kindness.

            Dylan sniffled as he read. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath to stop himself.

            “Hey,” Caden muttered, sounding tired. Damn. He didn’t want to wake Caden. “What’s wrong?”

            Dylan couldn’t answer. He knew if he spoke his voice would sound warped and pathetic. At least now he didn’t feel bad about leaning over to the table to grab a tissue box. He set the Star Wars comic aside to keep from getting anything on it. After he blew his nose, Caden started stroking Dylan’s hair, and Dylan underestimated how soothing that could feel.

            “It’s alright,” Caden said, the sleepiness in his voice making it even sweeter, “I’m here. You’re not alone, Dyl. It’s alright. I’m here.”

            That statement didn’t make Dylan cry any less. He pressed his face on Caden’s shoulder and let out a small sob. That woke Caden up more. He sat up on the couch and cupped Dylan’s face.

            “Are you okay?” Caden asked. Dylan nodded. Caden still looked a bit panicked and awkward, like he was making this up as he went along. Even so, he brought the blanket tighter around them and held Dylan’s face to his chest. Again, this wasn’t the first time he held Dylan while he was crying and that fact was more than a little embarrassing to Dylan. But he also felt a little irresponsible that he had yet to do the same for Caden. But he had the chance to, because Caden was still here. Caden was an option, because they had chosen to be each other.

            Dylan used to be targeted at the LIC by the other boys for his sensitivity. When he was picked for Bad the higher ups said his emotions could be molded to meet their goals. Being sensitive could be his “secret weapon” and it would be “hot” if he released it at the right moment, but not to the point of making the other girl uncomfortable. As Dylan calmed down, looking at the tearstains he left on Caden’s shirt, he’s well aware this wasn’t his prettiest moment.

            “I want you to know I’m deeply humiliated right now,” Dylan said.

            “It’s okay,” Caden said again, “Do you…um…want to talk about it?”

            Caden sounded almost as awkward as Dylan felt. Dylan pulled back to wipe his eyes on his palms.

            “It’s nothing,” he said, “I was just…what was I saying before? About the trauma building up and then collapsing?”

            “Oh.”

           Dylan grinned. “But wouldn’t a guy crying over Star Wars be the biggest turn-on for you?”

            Caden grinned too. “Well, usually when people cry over sci-fi it’s either because they have empathy or they’re crying over something else, it’s a win-lose scenario.”

            Caden caressed Dylan’s face, and Dylan couldn’t stop himself from leaning into his touch. When Caden’s hand started to stroke his hair again, his finger traced over Dylan’s eyebrow.

            “How did you get your old scar?” Caden asked. The scar had been removed by the LIC, and that was the one physical change he didn’t mind.

            “In a fight.”

            “A knife fight?”

            “No. It was in the weight room. Guy took the weights off the dumbbell and hit me with it.”

            “ _Ouch_.” Caden kissed where Dylan’s scar used to be, then the corner of his eyes.

            “He wanted to ruin my pretty face. Joke’s on him. He’s the one who got punished.”

            “I’m a bit surprised they removed it. Small scars like that create mystery for a Bad.”

            “Is that why it worked on you?”

            Caden’s lip twitched. He didn’t answer as he brushed the corners of Dylan’s eyes until they were dry.

            “Thanks again,” Caden said, “for staying with me.”

            Dylan blinked. “I’m tired. Do you want me to go back to my room?”

            “Not if you don’t want to. You can come back into mine.”

            Dylan tried not to blush. Natalie sending fanfics to Caden had also given them new ideas for romantic scenarios, including “and there’s only one bed” and meeting at a coffee shop. Why oh why did Caden quit his coffee shop job?

            They didn’t stay close together and they weren’t even touching, but Dylan felt comfortable under the blankets beside Caden. He couldn’t deny how hard he was falling for Caden anymore, and perhaps now he was ready to lean more towards the “queer” type of Q. He didn’t feel like announcing it to the world or jumping up and down about it. For now he came out to himself, and that was a good first step.

            He always thought getting the second Love Interest to survive was a false hope. And yet he was here breathing beside him, and while the steps leading to that were unexpected, he didn’t mind where he was now.

**Author's Note:**

> As of this writing I have read a total of one whole Star Wars comic. It was Star Wars Adventures: The Will of Darth Vader. IT WAS TOTALLY alright I guess.
> 
> Also, as someone who worked some summers at libraries, WE DON'T CARE if you talk in the library, but we do care if your kid says something and then you shout "WE ARE IN THE LIBRARY". My bosses also had a weird thing about sixth graders in the children's section. She could always tell they were in sixth grade by looking at them. Maybe it was the misery.


End file.
